I didn't think that I would want to breast feed for more than a year. I talked with people and said, "yeah a year sounds good." I knew I wanted to breast feed for at least a year though. At least 6 months. Oh then there was all this breast feeding trouble and people started to tell me it was "ok to use formula" and "you haven't failed anything." I think a lot of mothers will understand when I say, I totally felt like a failure when I wasn't making enough milk and I thought I wouldn't be able to breast feed. When I told me friend she said, don't give up. She told me it took one of her friends 9 months to get it right. I found hope in this. I think most mothers will also understand that this was actually very important to me. My dad, who I love very much and is almost perfect in my eyes, did not understand. But how could he? How could any man understand except from seeing the motivation, longing or pain in the mothers eyes? Men will never have this experience and they will never have these problems. The most they can do is empathize, but when you can never ever experience a problem how can you really understand? I don't blame him, but I do wish he understood better or empathized more. I think to him it was like he saw me miserable because I was so tired and upset that it wasn't working and he thought we could just fix that by putting my daughter on formula and then I could get sleep and she would get fed.
I don't know what I would do without the lactation consultant at the hospital, and then following that, the support I've had from the LLL group that I go to on Tuesday mornings. The women in the group, all breast feeding or interested in breast feed, all have amazing stories and are so supportive and helpful. It inspired me, as well as I'm sure more lactation consultants have been originally inspired, to do something along the lines of starting a group and taking the steps to help women with breast feeding. It's amazing how much strength it has given me and how much I treasure it now. I still have supply issues and I am still struggling, but it is so important to me and I feel so connected to my baby. It makes me sick to think that women would choose formula over breastfeeding if they have a choice. Obviously there are so many situations that make breast feeding difficult or impossible if you have some medical problem or have had some operation that makes it impossible. But it also seems impossible to so many women because they have no one to help them or explain to them what is going on when things aren't going perfectly.
In South Africa, they have recently decided to promote breast feeding to all mothers, because of the infant mortality rate. Good and bad with this one though because they suggest it to all mothers, even those with HIV. And in a county where, in some places, the rate of infection is above 50% that is a bit dangerous. But think about poverty and how much formula costs anyway. So if you have a free source of food that is MORE nutritious and so helpful in other ways like giving your child immunities and keeping them from getting sick while they are young, or at least keeping their immune system strong, why would you not be utilizing this already? I don't have that answer because I think the campaign to get women to stop breast feeding happened before my time, but I can only imagine that it has something to do with making money and taking away women's power. Telling them that their natural ability to produce milk isn't good enough and 'here buy some of our expensive product.' I mean this for every country where they have done this.
In particular Nestle, which sold infant formula to many underdeveloped countries where there were no national standards, and this caused mass malnutrition and even death. Nestle claims that the instructions were not followed properly, but they were still instrumental in pushing a product above a mothers own milk, which in turn caused the death and sickness of many infants.
In the U.K. they have recently also started telling mothers to breast feed for at least six months, but tend to ignore the issues that many mothers have with breast feeding, especially as it has been lost as the natural way to feed your child and has become much less common. I was lucky to live in a place where they value breastfeeding there is a huge support network for breastfeeding mothers and breastfeeding awareness when I had my daughter, but most people, I would even guess the majority of people in the world, do not have this.
In the United States I do not know why we have such a high number of women who have problems with milk supply, but if you have ever been to a group online or in person, this is one of the biggest problems. I won't go into some of the causes but as for when you are doing everything right with the actual act but you still aren't producing enough, I think it boils down to diet. The people in this country are more obese than not. Even those who are not even fat, often are very unhealthy with their diets, and often lack enough nutrients to be at a low level of malnutrition. Several reasons for malnutrition and being overweight and all of the other problems have to do with our access to food, our knowledge of food and sadly, the food itself. The food we eat just does not have the nutrients in it that it should. Even organic food has these problems, but not nearly as severely as mass produced non-organic.
Women with Celiacs often have trouble conceiving, and also experience a higher level of miscarriage if they are getting gluten in their diet. I think the same can be true for breast milk production. There are foods that dry up breast milk, such as sage, spearmint, the list goes on, but what if there are allergies or intolerances that are specific to certain people that cause reduction in breast milk production?
This is just a brief look at what I feel about this issue. I am so grateful to my friend who gave me suggestions and helped me continue to breast feed even when I thought I would fail. I hope to help set up networks of people like this all over the world, but for now I'm going to have to wait to write more about this issue because I have to go be mom.
I would like to talk about how it should be more accepted in society and less of a burden on women and so much more but as I said I must go. Hopefully I will remember this for next time.
Monday, March 26, 2012
Saturday, March 10, 2012
Rich white dudes
I had a discussion today with someone who was trying to convince me of how awesome Ron Paul is. I attempted to tell him why I don't like his proposed governmental structure and why I don't think it'll work or is a good idea, and he was actually someone receptive but then turned into the "your a commie! You want us all to die" guy. Which is the same fucking thing you hear from right wing conservatives whenever you aren't budging to their opinion. Usually they aren't so long lasting in their argument though. So much respect for not immediately calling me a cunt or a slut because I told him I'm pro choice.
But in the end we ended up with him saying I wanted a dictatorship, and I said that we had to end our conversation because he was just making random assertions with no basis in fact and there was no point in arguing with someone who already had their picture of who I was in their head.
Let me start out by saying, I am not into dictatorships. I'm not entirely sure how me saying you need oversight could be construed as saying that. When I think of oversight I think of people checking on people who are also held accountable by other people. I don't think of one dude making all the decisions without question or push back.
But more importantly, we talked about states rights vs federal rights. I think the problem with arguing with people about this is that it's just a fundamental difference in how people see the world. Some people think the federal government should play no role in their lives, and other people, people like me, think that there is definitely a place for a federal government.
To me, the place of the federal government is to make sure that everyone plays fair, and that when things go wrong, they can provide a safety net. If states like Oklahoma, Georgia, South Dakota, North Dakota, Texas, Arizona, etc. want to make it so that a woman who has a miscarriage (medically known as a spontaneous abortion) they SHOULD NOT BE ABLE TO DO THIS! This is a complete misunderstanding of human anatomy and science and is just fucking awful and scary. But states, like those previously mentioned, would. They would make having a miscarriage, or an abortion, or getting birth control, illegal.
Now I shouldn't even have to defend myself as a women against these laws in this fucking day and age, but for some reason I do. This country has a large number of what seems like a growing group of science hating (or maybe just not understanding) people who think that only sluts are raped (and if you use birthcontrol - automatic slut) and the only reason for abortion is because you want to murder babies. Well there are a lot of reasons for abortion and for birth control. Some women will die if they have a baby. In Ron Paul's interview with Piers Morgan, he said only women who were honest raped (I'm not going to bother looking up the whole quote because you can do it on your own if you don't remember this interview) should have the option of possibly getting an abortion, and not even abortion but like morning after pill. Like if you go to the hospital right after being honestly raped (like because women usually lie about being raped right? but I actually think he is referring to like hardcore tie down knock out rape, and is trying to say date rape or some less violent version like coersion isn't rape) then you can get a plan b or morning after pill. But, and here's a thought, what if you are really scared, or you somehow can't just go to the hospital because like...you don't have insurance and some hospitals won't even let you in the door without insurance? So then you are fucked and you are forced to have a baby?
Now I'm pro-choice. I believe it's none of my fucking business if someone else doesn't want to have a baby and they are pregnant for some reason or other. Rape or not. But I understand that religious people sometimes believe that it's life. Well, these are the people that get on my nerves, not because I don't think they have brains but they just aren't fucking using them. These are the science deniers. First off, no one is saying that abortion is fun, or a type of birth control. Abortion is hard, expensive and traumatizing for most women. But pro-choice people understand that there will always be need for abortion services. Guess what, not everyone is religious and believes it's a life. And guess what? Sometimes there are other factors that make having a child a risk. And guess what?!!! Some people know that they would make terrible parents, or they are not ready to have children yet, and they also understand that there are already too many children out there who are looking for homes and adoption is just putting another child out there when there are already so many who need adopting.
So anyhow, I don't really want to talk about Ron Paul anymore because I'm sort of burned out on the issue. I'll just say, I think that his positions on issues that I care about are bad enough that I could never be swayed to vote for him.
But my point here, is more that the people who defend him, don't even know what his policies would do to this country. They don't understand at all how much damage his policies would cause. Now I'm not saying that he could enact them all as president. They don't really have that much power. But I do think he could do some major damage. I just wish we had some better candidates at all. The republicans are all insanely anti-woman and pro-corperation and Obama has enacted some really fucked up shit. Like NDAA. And I am giving him credit because he's had the whole republican congress pushing back against every move he makes. But a lot of those moves have been just horrible. Deep sea drilling. Even after the oil spill he is pushing that. And now Fracking. I hate having a two party system. It makes voting really depressing sometimes.
So rich white dudes. They aren't women, they aren't black or latino or asian. They really don't understand.
But in the end we ended up with him saying I wanted a dictatorship, and I said that we had to end our conversation because he was just making random assertions with no basis in fact and there was no point in arguing with someone who already had their picture of who I was in their head.
Let me start out by saying, I am not into dictatorships. I'm not entirely sure how me saying you need oversight could be construed as saying that. When I think of oversight I think of people checking on people who are also held accountable by other people. I don't think of one dude making all the decisions without question or push back.
But more importantly, we talked about states rights vs federal rights. I think the problem with arguing with people about this is that it's just a fundamental difference in how people see the world. Some people think the federal government should play no role in their lives, and other people, people like me, think that there is definitely a place for a federal government.
To me, the place of the federal government is to make sure that everyone plays fair, and that when things go wrong, they can provide a safety net. If states like Oklahoma, Georgia, South Dakota, North Dakota, Texas, Arizona, etc. want to make it so that a woman who has a miscarriage (medically known as a spontaneous abortion) they SHOULD NOT BE ABLE TO DO THIS! This is a complete misunderstanding of human anatomy and science and is just fucking awful and scary. But states, like those previously mentioned, would. They would make having a miscarriage, or an abortion, or getting birth control, illegal.
Now I shouldn't even have to defend myself as a women against these laws in this fucking day and age, but for some reason I do. This country has a large number of what seems like a growing group of science hating (or maybe just not understanding) people who think that only sluts are raped (and if you use birthcontrol - automatic slut) and the only reason for abortion is because you want to murder babies. Well there are a lot of reasons for abortion and for birth control. Some women will die if they have a baby. In Ron Paul's interview with Piers Morgan, he said only women who were honest raped (I'm not going to bother looking up the whole quote because you can do it on your own if you don't remember this interview) should have the option of possibly getting an abortion, and not even abortion but like morning after pill. Like if you go to the hospital right after being honestly raped (like because women usually lie about being raped right? but I actually think he is referring to like hardcore tie down knock out rape, and is trying to say date rape or some less violent version like coersion isn't rape) then you can get a plan b or morning after pill. But, and here's a thought, what if you are really scared, or you somehow can't just go to the hospital because like...you don't have insurance and some hospitals won't even let you in the door without insurance? So then you are fucked and you are forced to have a baby?
Now I'm pro-choice. I believe it's none of my fucking business if someone else doesn't want to have a baby and they are pregnant for some reason or other. Rape or not. But I understand that religious people sometimes believe that it's life. Well, these are the people that get on my nerves, not because I don't think they have brains but they just aren't fucking using them. These are the science deniers. First off, no one is saying that abortion is fun, or a type of birth control. Abortion is hard, expensive and traumatizing for most women. But pro-choice people understand that there will always be need for abortion services. Guess what, not everyone is religious and believes it's a life. And guess what? Sometimes there are other factors that make having a child a risk. And guess what?!!! Some people know that they would make terrible parents, or they are not ready to have children yet, and they also understand that there are already too many children out there who are looking for homes and adoption is just putting another child out there when there are already so many who need adopting.
So anyhow, I don't really want to talk about Ron Paul anymore because I'm sort of burned out on the issue. I'll just say, I think that his positions on issues that I care about are bad enough that I could never be swayed to vote for him.
But my point here, is more that the people who defend him, don't even know what his policies would do to this country. They don't understand at all how much damage his policies would cause. Now I'm not saying that he could enact them all as president. They don't really have that much power. But I do think he could do some major damage. I just wish we had some better candidates at all. The republicans are all insanely anti-woman and pro-corperation and Obama has enacted some really fucked up shit. Like NDAA. And I am giving him credit because he's had the whole republican congress pushing back against every move he makes. But a lot of those moves have been just horrible. Deep sea drilling. Even after the oil spill he is pushing that. And now Fracking. I hate having a two party system. It makes voting really depressing sometimes.
So rich white dudes. They aren't women, they aren't black or latino or asian. They really don't understand.
Saturday, March 3, 2012
Women's problems
I am furious at this country for having so many voting people who vote Republican. The truth of it is, I'll bet the majority of this country does not believe in their hateful load of ideas that oppress Women and people of colour, but those people just don't fucking vote. Voting is actually important. I know quite a few people who don't vote because they think the system is broken, well the system is broken because they don't vote. Yes I'm blaming you, non-voters. I blame you for the two party system and for the Republicans, and for the shitty selection of Democrats in most places. I blame you for our lack of healthcare and public transportation.
But since they aren't voting, we will look at the Republicans. They are in power right now and they have fully waged their war on women. They are trying to impose laws upon women that completely violate their rights as Americans. For the party that claims to hate big government and love America, they sure act the opposite. If they claim that a Democrat hate America one more time because they say something about wanted free healthcare, I think I'll fucking vomit. How in the fuck does wanted the people of the country you love, to have access to care that allows them to live healthy lives, make you hate America? It doesn't. The Republicans have long known about brainwashing tactics. They truly would love to live in a country like Russia where it's completely within their power as rich white men to stile whomever they please and fuck whoever they want giving them whatever disease they carry. I don't even think Russia is quite as oppressive as the Republicans wish this country was.
They are the most hateful selfish people I think I have ever come across in this country. I wonder what percentage of them are members of the KKK or other equally racist groups? They vote against the violence against women act. They vote for internal ultrasounds. They vote against healthcare. They vote for fracking and oil drilling. Is there anything that makes them look like they aren't a party of hateful old men? Yes I know there are women Republicans, but the ones who speak out the loudest all have been saying that women should be subservient to men. That they shouldn't have access to birth control.
Guess fucking what!?!!!!!! Birth control is used for other things than keep a woman from getting pregnant. And I don't even give a fuck about that because we have the right to have sex and not get pregnant. But for those of you without a fucking brain, there are so many uses for birth control that taking it away is literally endangering millions of women's lives. What does it say about this country that we have people in power who openly hate women and are taking away their freedoms and we sit by and do almost nothing? Some of us are making a stink, but it's so few it makes me sad that I even have any hope for this country. I love this country and it is going to shit because of Republicans and those other insane hateful conservative fucks.
Fuck off, it's none of your damn fucking business who or where or when I have sex with, and it's not your right to tell me if I can have children or not, and when I can have children or not.
I think this must be their way of cutting us down again. We had the Inquisition. We had the Witch trials. I guess women must be getting too much power and respect again because they are doing everything they can to cut us down. If women don't have access to birth control they will not be able to get jobs because employers will know that inevitably they will get pregnant.
It's all about control. It's all about greed. I'm sick of believing in this country when it doesn't even believe in itself. I will always vote because I believe in democracy. The system may be broken but it's only broken because people don't vote. We can all vote right now. They are trying to change that and when they do, it really will be so much harder to change anything. When they change voter registration laws and then eventually deny certain races of people the vote in other ways, then it will be so much harder. And then you can think back to now when you actually could have made a difference. When your vote would have actually count.