Use reusable bags

I'll admit I am terrible at remembering my cloth bags when I go to the grocery store.  Even though there is a huge sign over my grocery store that says "Did you remember to bring your bags?"  I get into the store and say "shit, of course I forgot my bags."  Luckily I try to make sure they are always in my car, and since I have to drive to the grocery store because I live in a place where the nearest bus stop is almost 3 miles from my house and the bus comes every 3-4 hours, I do have to drive.  So I just walk back to my car and grab the bags out of my car.

I think if I took the bus, or if we had better public transportation around where I live, I might remember to bring my bags.  I think that if I had to leave the house, making sure I had my phone, keys, bags, etc with my, I would remember them when I went shopping.

It's something about the instant nature of hopping in the car, where I forget a few things.  I often forget my sunglasses or phone, and by the time I remember I'm miles away from the house.

I'm working on that.

"It's not racist to call them Pakis because they call us Honkys'

(I should start off by mentioning my boyfriend is from England and this is all related to England) 

"It's not racist to call them Pakis because they call us Honkys'

Way to take the high road dude.  And by the way...they don't.  If one person with dark skin, ever, called you a honky, guess what, that doesn't mean "they all" call you a honky.  

I love my boyfriend but I don't get how someone can be so blind to their own racism.  It's gotten to a point where I just get pissed off and yell at him which is so unproductive, but when I used to point it out he would just say it wasn't racist.  

"I'm not racist, I just..."yeah there's another one.  "I just think that they should go back to their countries.  I just think that we should keep them from moving into our country."  Who are these people?  Is he talking about the English born people who have Indian roots?  Is he talking about the people who moved into the country legally because they have the right to because of the EU?  The people who most likely only moved there because they think they can make enough money to send home and help out their families in their respective countries that would otherwise be freezing and/or starving.

I ask him what he would do if he were in their situation.  What if he lived in a country that did not provide for it's own people, his family was starving and suffering and there was a country he had the legal right to live and work in that paid enough money for him to help out his family?  He doesn't answer this.  He simply said they have no right.  The argument stops there because he flat out refuses to even look at something from their point of view.  How frustrating is this for me?  I find it so annoying to have to hear this racist bullshit over and over again and to be honest, if we didn't have a child together this would be enough to make me reconsider our relationship.  As we do have a child together, I am trying to find ways to speak to him that he will get where I'm coming from at least.   Ugh.

Women are the new n*****

Yeah, I'm not going to write that word.  Plus, it's somewhat inaccurate because we have almost always been the n*****.  Let's just call women the bitch of society.  

I hate using either of those words, but let's face it; we are basically a slave to society.  Women in movies are not at all like women in real life, but life reflects art, or at least the constant bombardment of media.  Some of it is not even subtle but we have heard it so many times that we are unable to register that it is sexist.  "That girl has balls!" is one of them.  Margaret Thatcher was said to have bigger balls than any of the men in government at that point.  So, what's sexist about this right?  No, I'm sure you can figure that one out.  It is almost like saying, "he throws like a girl" except it's aimed at supposedly complimenting a woman.  So it's a compliment that woman is not at all like a woman but like a man?  Sadly a lot of our everyday interactions have subtle, or just learned, phrases like this which are meant to undermine women.  

And this is in a country that prides itself on being about equality.  I think we all know that this is false in the matter of race, but when it comes to sexism, many people will argue with you if you try and say that we are an extremely sexist society.  But how much more oppressed can you be, than when you are brainwashed into believing you are inferior, and so brainwashed you don't even realized you believe this? I am glad that we are not required to wear anything specific to cover our faces or bodies, because I find it sad that people are told to hide their bodies when the human body is so beautiful.  I also believe that the more you hide the human body, and the more you tell people that they must hide, the more people desire to see the hidden

When you take care of someone at every moment of their lives, they are unable to take care of themselves.  If you teach someone that they have to be attracted to a woman’s body, and that they will be driven mad with desire, than maybe they will believe you.  But isn’t it actually insulting to the man as well, to tell him that he is so weak of mind, that he will be immediately sexual with any woman whose body he sees.  It’s ridiculous.  This is forgiving rapists, as well as making rapists out of ordinary men, because they think it’s an excuse. 

This is wrong, but this is obvious and external.  What we have in the American culture is a brainwashing and internal as well as external control that we put up with, and at many levels, accepts.  Women who are allowed to wear what they wish (yes I said allowed), are still blamed by the media when they are raped, if they have been drinking or were wearing certain clothes or even if they are walking in the wrong areas or at the wrong times.  So we are saying that it is actually ok for women to be raped, it is even their fault, if they are doing any of these no-nos.  Those silly brainless women.  So, while this is just insanely stupid, because, guess what, women have brains.  Yes, we are able to think, and yes, there are dumb and there are smart women just like there are men.  Why are we blaming these women when there is actually someone violently attacking women?  That is ridiculous. 

I am not saying that women should not be careful, because there is this problem with the world, what I am saying that we should be working on the problem and not blaming those who are caught up in this sickness of society. 

We are lucky to live in a country where we can usually easily avoid most danger; there are some countries that you cannot even walk down the street alone without fear for your life, and the knowledge that you will be raped if caught.  But that doesn’t mean we can’t improve on the parts of our society that are less than perfect.  A woman raped is a woman raped, even when she is 1 of 100 and not 1 of 3. 

While I am working on what I can do to educate my daughter and my friends and mostly myself, I also am working to form a network of people who can speak about their experience, what worked and what didn’t, across the world.  We need to stop rape in all countries, and I think it is important to educate the world.  Men and women.  It is actually very important to educate men, especially in religious countries where they are the only ones who have the power to stop, and the power to change the rules and their own actions. 

Ron Paul is meh

If we give states individual rights.  Imagine if Texas was like Syria, with it's laws and leader, and the only way the federal government could stop Texas from massacring it's own people, was by going to war with the state.  So, we already have many laws at a state level, and many of them do horrible damage.  Not allowing gays to marriage.  Actually making it illegal for gays to marry, to be exact.

Ron Paul has some great things to say.  He has some really good points of view.  But he is still a Republican/Libertarian.  He does not like women's rights, he is racist, and he doesn't think that the federal government should have any power.  These are damaging enough to this country, that he is not a better bet than Obama.  I am very disillusioned with Obama because I feel that he hasn't stood up for this country, as the president, as he should have.

As for Obama.  I understand he has almost the entire Republican party simply voting against anything he proposes, so make him look bad, to make him look unaccomplished.  But he has some powers as president that he has not used.  I'm not saying the Republicans look any better from my point of view, but I'm afraid that people dumb enough to vote Republican in the first place (at this point, with these clowns) is just voting along party lines anyway, so them looking like jerks isn't going to sway them.  Although I hope that it does.  I do really hope that enough people are disillusioned with the Republican's bullshit, that they at least vote third party.  I have heard rumblings of discontent among them, but when it comes down to it, will they just vote Republican?

Having said that, I do hope that Ron Paul wins the nomination, because hopefully this will for Obama to take pro-peace policy, and possibly even get him to admit that the war on drugs in a complete waste of money, and a drain on our police forces across the country.

Merry end of the year!

Wow.  Even not being with the rest of my family everyone is stressed!  So...I think this holiday just isn't meant for me.  And I don't mean christmas, I mean the entire end of the christian year.  Fuck this!  What is the point?!  I don't even really give a shit.  The only time that means anything to me is the time I'm able to spend with my daughter (for now) and right now I just need the other time to clean so that we can spend our time in a nice pleasant environment.

Men are messy.  I hate using a stereotype like that, but prove me fucking wrong!  I know there are some clean men out there but I haven't met you.

Must go, the child needs my attention and I must brush my teeth.  Ciao.

Environment and Me

In elementary school we were taught about the destruction of the rain forests.  I was a depressed child because I thought the world was going to end, but mostly because I saw the suffering that going on at the hands of these companies who were cutting down the rain forests including the extinction of animals, and just mass killing.  The mass killing of all the trees and plants that took place and knowing that this area was actually providing the world with oxygen as well, was enough to make me think that by the time I was an adult, the world would be over.  In a small way, it is.  We have reached a point where it seems that we are unable to reverse our effects on global warming and we have no begun to increase our speed of destruction at an insane speed.  

People around me seem to be totally selfish and oblivious.  My best friends throw away recylable things just because it would be too "complicated" or they don't know how.  Instead of taking the time to figure it out, or just doing it when they know, they just throw away and say "I know I should but" or maybe they don't give an excuse.  I know I need to do better, but I have never thought that recycling was too much work.  I never even think about it when I recycle.  I do however think about it when I don't recycle.  If I throw something in the trash that's recyclable I feel gross and I just have this image of it going to a landfill.

So perfect, and of course not so perfect

I have it really good right now.  I read every day about horrible goings on in other countries.  I have seen pictures of people carrying their dead children in the street after being killed by militants, the military or terrorists (as if there is a difference in some places) and I know I have it good.

I am also so incredibly poor that I have to get help to take care of me and my daughter, but I hope to get through school and be able to work soon.  I would love to be able to support us and be able to donate some of my own money and time to those in need.  I know that I have it lucky but I also know that what I have is threatened, because it has already been cut quite severely.  And of course I talk of "welfare" or what it has become which is not actually welfare, it's called Welfare to Work, or CalWorks, in California.  You have to work and then they give you some help.  It's not a lot of money.  It's barely enough to live on, and for many it's not enough to live on, and they cut the benefits each year.  But I want to make sure that people can receive these benefits long after I am off of them because they are so important for the future of our country.  We cannot treat the poor as if they are here simply to be handles only as much as we wish.  The poor are the same people everyone else is, they/we simply do not have the money and the means to get along out their/our own.

It makes no sense to cut people off and force them into lives of crime or danger simply because some people don't want to pay any taxes.  I have never in my life thought that I would be better off if I payed no taxes, and I will never in my life think that taxes are all bad.  I think some money, maybe even a lot of it, is not handled the way I wish, but for me the public schools and the roads and libraries and welfare (or how it exists today) is worth it.  I believe in helping people and I would always help my neighbors.  I believe taxes are a way of helping all of our neighbors.  It's a way of saying of sharing the cost of those things we use, which obviously is the point, but this is clearly lost on many people.  People who are obsessed with the tea party way of thinking.  This selfish idealism is going to ruin our lives and the lives of everyone in this country who is not making so much money they can afford not to know how many houses they own.

I know this is just touching on it, and it's just a small bit of what I think but I just wanted to touch on that today and then I must go put my child to bed so that we may get some rest and then we will clean tomorrow so that we can all be healthy and feel good and have clear heads.